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<title>empty words by callieshively</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27627431">empty words</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/callieshively/pseuds/callieshively'>callieshively</a></h1>

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<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>None - Fandom, Poetry - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:13:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>292</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27627431</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/callieshively/pseuds/callieshively</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>life doesn’t always meet you with ups, sometimes mountains are covered in snow and sometimes they’re covered in grass</p>
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<a name="section0001"><h2>empty words</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>reflections</p><p>i find myself looking in every reflective surface. stating, looking to see my imperfections. watching my hands move over my stomach, see how far it sticks out. i feel my hands on my ribs, trying to count them. i find my eyes trailing to my collar bones, seeing if they’re prominent. if they stick out. if they look like the other girls. i find myself listening to every piece of criticism i hear, every insult, every comment. “you don’t have a skinny body why would you want skinny jeans”. “i don’t think your clothes would fit me they’re so big”. “are you sure you want to eat that.” and i stop. i stop wearing skinny jeans, because why would i wear them when i’m not skinny. i stop trying to share my clothes, because they’re right, they’re giant. i stop eating seconds, sometimes firsts. everyday i find myself trailing my eyes over my stomach, my ribs, my collar bones. i find myself looking up “how long can i go without eating”. i find myself googling “signs of eating disorders.” i notice how i turn my music up when the doctor starts talking about my weight. how she says it’s normal. but the other girls are skinnier. the other girls are prettier. their collar bones stick out. their jaw lines and cheek bones are so prominent. and lately i find myself only eating dinner. saying i feel nauseous so they don’t offer me food. i find my hair falling out and goosebumps 24/7. i notice that i seem to have hair everywhere. yet i don’t seem to look any different. so i’ll continue to measure my waist and try to hide my stretch marks. until i look like the other girls.</p>
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